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Cognitive Symptoms & Consequences of Low Self-Esteem

  • Faulty Self Image (The inaccurate view of oneself as inadequate, unlovable, unworthy, and/or incompetent)
  • Inability to Discern Who and When to Trust
  • Irrational and Distorted Self-Statements (Carries on an inner dialog in which he makes untrue/unproven negative statements to himself)
  • Lacking Self Confidence
  • Mind Reading and Projection (Thinks and believes that others view her in the same negative ways that she views herself)
  • Obsessive Compulsive and Addictive Behaviors
  • Overly Critical of Self and Others
  • Reactionary (Overreacts to situations)        
  • Rigidity
  • Self-Focused
  • Storytelling 
  • Unreasonable Expectations

Emotional Symptoms & Consequences of Low Self-Esteem

  • Depression
  • Discouragement
  • Fear and Anxiety (of making a mistake, being rejected, looking foolish or inadequate)
  • Hypersensitivity
  • Mixed Emotions
  • Shutdown Emotionally
  • Self-Esteem Attacks (Similar but different from panic attacks)
  • (Appearance of) Shyness

Behavioral Symptoms & Consequences of Low Self-Esteem

  • Being Needy
  • Chaotic Relationships
  • Defensiveness
  • Eating Disorders
  • Hypervigilance
  • Lack of Assertiveness, Passive, Aggressive, or Passive-Aggressive
  • Perfectionism 
  • Poor Boundaries
  • Poor Communication
  • Poor Relationship & Social Skills 
  • Promiscuous
  • Self-Sabotaging
  • Sexual Dysfunction
  • Wearing a Mask

 



Signs of Confidence & Healthy Self-Esteem:

  • Looks ahead, setting both long range and short range goals
  • Establishes goals that are reasonable and likely attainable
  • Doesn't procrastinate/is not a perfectionist/is a self-starter
  • Accepts his/her own weaknesses and lack of skills
  • Is highly motivated and determined to succeed
  • Bounces back after a setback, moving forward again
  • Trusts own ideas, perceptions, and opinions
  • Has the courage to say what he/she truly feels and believes
  • Is able to hear and benefit from constructive criticism
  • Can make timely decisions after considering the options
  • Displays good social skills
  • Has a history of far more successes than failures in meeting goals
  • keeps moving to achieve goals in difficult times.
  • Is open to both positive and negative feedback
  • Learns from past mistakes rather than repeating them.
  • Is willing and able to takes risks
  • Is willing to cut his/her losses when a project seems doomed to fail
  • Can change course when it is necessary to do so
  • Is generally positive, energetic, and assertive
  • Takes people at their word unless or until there is reason to do otherwise

book cover breaking the chain of low self esteemBreaking The Chain of Low Self Esteem: Second Edition

"The new bible of self-esteem," says Robert Lubow, M.D. psychiatrist, Cincinnati, Ohio.

"The best book ever written on self-esteem," says Sandra K. Pinches, Ph.D., psychologist, Portland, Oregon.

"Highly recommended." The Midwest Book Review

 

Are you suffering from
low self esteem?

Take the Sorensen
Self Esteem Test
and
find your score!

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Low Self-Esteem is a Normal Reaction to an Abnormal Childhood.

Dr. Sorensen believes the following about low self-esteem:

  1. Low self-esteem is actually a thinking disorder in which an individual views himself as inadequate, unworthy, unlovable, and/or incompetent. Once formed, this negative view of self permeates every thought, producing faulty assumptions and ongoing self-defeating behavior.

  2. Low self-esteem should be included in the diagnostic manual (that is utilized by all therapists to determine diagnoses). Instead, it is frequently mentioned as a symptom of many other disorders, which is backwards: low self-esteem is the disorder, not merely the symptom.

  3. Low self-esteem always forms in childhood, when an individual is developing his initial view of himself and his attributes. Once formed, low self esteem cannot be overcome without going through a recovery process.

  4. A person cannot merely "raise" one's low self-esteem and transform it into healthy self-esteem. Instead a person has to learn to alter his basic view of self and transform his thinking and attitudes, which is not a simple process or a quick fix.

  5. Low self-esteem is a serious disorder that affects millions of people--both men and women--destroying their relationships, paralyzing them with fear, and creating lives that will never reach their full potential, leaving them off balance, needy, and unfulfilled.

  6. Unfortunately, like the general public, most therapists are misinformed about low self-esteem and it's consequences and therefore, don't know how to treat it. Many people go to therapy for this issue and leave feeling hopeless about their lives and disillusioned about therapy.


Dr. Sorensen's Recovery program: Order Now

Marie from Scotland:
Why aren't more Therapists trained in the aspect low self esteem as it relates to mental health? Everything Sorensen says, makes perfect sense. I have never read a book which offers such insight into specific emotional problems. Sorensen's experience and insights "blew me away." Her insights at times seem more of a "telepathic nature," than that of a therapist. This woman could very easily "re-write" the whole therapeutic approach. So many more people would benefit, if she did!!

Once low self-esteem is formed, it can only be overcome through a process of recovery. Dr. Sorensen has developed the only known program to do that--one that is extremely effective and is spelled out through the three books above.

Dr. Sorensen has made it her life's goal to observe and study low self-esteem. As a result, she has been able to recognize the causes, the symptoms, and the self-defeating patterns common to all low self esteem sufferers.

Reading her books will enable you to understand:
  • How and when low self-esteem develops
  • The specific symptoms that accompany low self-esteem
  • The wholly misunderstood "self-esteem attacks"
  • The depth of fear and anxiety that low self esteem sufferers experience
  • The patterns of self-defeating behavior that accompany low self esteem
  • The devastatingly emotional turmoil caused by low self esteem
  • The negative and irrational thinking patterns of those who have low self esteem
  • The ways in which low self esteem creates chaos in--and even destroys--relationships
  • The overall severity of low self esteem and how it stifles creativity, curtails ambition, kills dreams, and often promotes a sense of hopelessness and helplessness



Self-Esteem, Misunderstood and Trivialized by Society

Click for more infoIf you suffer from low self esteem you have likely felt embarrassment due to the negative way in which others have responded to behaviors that result from your low self esteem. You may have heard such comments as "Just get over it" or "You're just too sensitive," comments that show the misunderstanding of society about low self esteem. The truth is that those who have low self-esteem didn't cause it, don't want to have it, but are powerless to change how they feel without going through a process of recovery. Unfortunately, this is not widely understood. To understand how society trivializes low self-esteem, we suggest you read Low Self-Esteem Misunderstood and Misdiagnosed.


The Impact of Low Self-Esteem In an Individual's Personal Life

Low Self-Esteem is a contributing factor in most cases involving:

  • eating disorders
  • domestic, teen, and gang violence
  • addictive behaviors
  • relationship problems
  • child abuse
  • social anxiety disorders
  • communication problems
  • sexual dysfunction
  • sexual promiscuity
  • workaholism

Low Self-Esteem is a thinking disorder based on the view the person has of himself as inadequate. Unless and until this basic view of self is altered a person cannot change the negative thinking that controls his reactions. This process is somewhat complicated and not a quick fix, not something a person can change just because she wants to do so.

Once low self-esteem is formed, the fear and anxiety that accompanies it affects everything a person does, says, and thinks.

Many who have low self esteem avoid seeking new jobs, initiating relationships, or learning new skills for fear of rejection or failure. Many avoid social settings and refrain from sharing their opinions for the same reasons. Some isolate, become people pleasers, and remain passive. Others get aggressive and cause havoc in their relationships. All people with low self esteem sabotage their lives to some degree.

Some become underachievers, achieving far less than they are capable of because they are paralyzed by fear. Others, driven to prove to themselves and others that they are adequate and deserving, become overachievers, probably becoming more successful than they would have if they didn't have low self-esteem. These overachievers often become workaholics, sometimes to the detriment of their families, creating relationship problems.

You can not necessarily tell that a person has low self-esteem because many who have low self esteem become experts at hiding their feelings and maintaining the appearance of control, even though this is not what they feel on the inside. In fact, many very successful people in high level careers actually suffer from low self-esteem, though only those close to them are aware of they have low self esteem.

When people with low self esteem do something they perceive as stupid or inappropriate, they instantly feel humiliated and suffer from "self-esteem attacks". At these moments they desperately want to run and hide, though this is often not possible. They may plummet into depression and devastation, episodes that may last minutes, hours, days, or even weeks. Afterwards they feel even more embarrassed to face the people who they think are aware of their problem.


The Impact of Low Self-Esteem In an Individual's Relationships

Relationships are greatly affected by low self-esteem. Those with low self-esteem tend to become either aggressive, passive, or passive-aggressive when threatened. They become defensive and argumentative or they withdraw and isolate, behaviors which do not contribute to healthy communication. Additionally, those with low self-esteem tend to be confused about who and when to trust and often make poor choices in partners. Intimacy becomes difficult to achieve and maintain due to these and other factors.


Preventing Low Self-Esteem In Children

Low Self-Esteem can form in childhood as the result of:

  • feeling abandoned, insignificant, or incompetent
  • physical, verbal, sexual, or emotional abuse
  • neglect of basic needs
  • excessive criticism
  • lack of support, encouragement, or affirmation
  • serious personal illness.

Low self-esteem begins in childhood. The major contributors to low self-esteem are parents, teachers, child-care workers, grandparents, siblings, peers, and other relatives and authorities in the child's life. Parents, however, have the best and most consistent opportunity to influence the view a child has of himself.

Most parents try to be good parents. Unfortunately, however, most parents rely on their own childhood, their intuition, and their own sense of what works to determine how to treat their children; many simply repeat the mistakes their own parents made.

For this very reason and due to many requests for guidance in building healthy self-esteem in children, Dr. Sorensen has written "The Handbook for Building Healthy Self-Esteem in Children". This book is a resource that you will use again and again in considering if you are doing the best you can to instill healthy self-esteem in your child.

Please feel free to contact Dr. Sorensen with any questions concerning low self-esteem, her books, and her recovery program.

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The Self-Esteem Institute